by Georgia Grace, Sex Coach
LGBTQIA+ people run into misconceptions all the time. Many people have heard sexual orientation myths, maybe you’ve thought them yourself, maybe someone has said them to you.
Often, these stereotypes are not learned by seeing or experiencing behavior from a range of sexualities, but rather come through assumptions.
In other words, they’re just prejudices with no grounding in reality. It’s our responsibility to learn accurate and useful information as we unlearn the inaccurate and often harmful myths about LGBTQIA+ people.
We asked sex coach, Georgia Grace, to dispel five myths that we need to stop perpetuating, as we listen and learn together.
You can tell when someone is gay
You can’t assume someone’s sexual orientation based on the way they look, dress, speak, walk or move throughout the world.
Do not make assumptions about others based on your own ideas. It’s vital we empower people to express themselves and create space for them to feel comfortable in this expression. Besides, who’s to say who qualifies as gay or straight? Every single straight person is unique. Every single gay person is unique. Every person, of every orientation, is unique.
Sexuality isn’t a job description, you don’t have to fulfill criteria to qualify as a certain sexual orientation. People identify with whatever term feels right to them, and because of this, you can’t ‘tell’ someone’s sexuality based on your impression of them.
It’s just a phase
It’s unlikely you’ve woken up one day and said – hey, maybe I’ll try on queer this morning! Often, understanding sexuality is the most important thing happening in a young person’s life so avoid responses that diminish this.
The last thing you want after opening up about your sexuality is to have this trivialised as a phase.
Remember, your orientation is valid, your feelings are valid and your lived experience in your body is valid.
Bi sexual young people are just really horny and want to have sex with everyone
… if they are, it has nothing to do with their bisexuality. Some bisexual people want to have sex with lots of people and some do not want to have sex. Some are flirtatious, sensual or outgoing, and some are shy, reserved or nervous.
Each.Human.Is.Unique!
Regardless of their orientation. If you’re horny and want to have sex with someone, it’s not becasue you’re bisexual, it’s because you want to have sex with someone.
LGBTQIA+ community are just confused
People are confused all the time – sometimes a lot throughout life, this isn’t restricted to LGBTQIA+ people.
Again, by saying someone is confused, this trivialises their experience and assumes you know more about their sexuality than they do – sounds absurd when you think of it that way, hey? When I hear this myth, it’s very obvious education is required.
Learn about the different terms for orientations. Find out what they mean, consider doing further research by reading forums, joining LGBTQIA+ support groups, and learning about these communities online. This could help you understand the terms better. If you start identifying with a certain orientation and later feel differently about it, that’s OK.
It’s all right to feel differently and for your identity to shift. It’s not about being confused, we grow and change constantly throughout life.
You must tell people your sexuality
If you don’t feel comfortable, or safe talking about your sexuality, you do not have to tell anyone anything you don’t want to.
Not disclosing your orientation doesn’t make you a liar, you don’t owe information to people. It may be useful to speak with a professional, mentor or someone you trust who can support and give you guidance as you navigate, understand and explore your sexuality.
